I wish I had a coach

31 Jan I wish I had a coach

Part – 1

The mid forty blues had hit me rather early in life. I must have been in my late thirties and often the question would pop up, what am I doing in Life. I knew that I needed the job to look after my family’s needs and for our financial independence. My career was important but I was not sure if what I wanted was important to my family or my circle of friends.

I was pursuing the goal for two decades and suddenly I was asking myself what good is it. The relevance of it simply missed me at that time. I wanted it and yet I was not sure. The question would keep me awake some nights. I did not know what was it that I was looking for in my career. After a point in time money was not a motivator, Promotions became irrelevant, and I was beginning to feel the lack of energy. I wish I had a coach

Part – 2

I was doing well in my career, I often heard people talking well of me. I was identified as a future leader potential. I was often referred to as on the fast track. I was happy and motivated to do well. I went out of my way to take on additional work and responsibilities. I was seen and told that I am a change agent. Whatever I heard made me feel good, important, and wanted.

I was looking forward to advancing my career in the company. It was a multi-national company and in India we were large. There was no dearth of opportunities. I had moved laterally a few times and I was promoted a few times.

Everything was almost perfect. My career was on a roll as they say. I was eyeing this vacancy that came up as the head of Business in Australia and I was keen to get the post. I worked very hard to present myself as the candidate to be considered. I visualized myself in the corner office that overlooked the Sydney bridge. The search was on I was talked to a few times, and this continued for over three weeks. I was hopeful I was confident that it was me.

It was not me who got the final nod. I was upset, I could not understand what went wrong. I just could not believe that they overlooked me. I was frustrated and was angry. It was evident to all that I was not the same. I wanted to quit my job that very day. I wish I had a coach.

Part – 3

I was doing very well. I was the head of a company that had shown signs to be big and create history. I was challenging myself daily. I was disrupting myself and looking for new ways to conquer the markets. We as a team we’re very confident and must have come across too many as cocky. We knew we were not and that we were in a role and did not want to lose the momentum.

We had become market leaders in 18 months and were looking to expand the pie. It occurred to me that we needed to expand the pie and dominate in that expanded pie. Blue Ocean it was but we were not aware. We just loved to come to work every day to win every day. Yes, we worked in a manner as though there was no tomorrow, as we believed that if we did not do it someone else would do it to us.

The parts and the whole came together but not seamlessly. Fire fighting was the name of the game while building a foundation for a strong and eternally successful organization. To everybody outside, we were a well-oiled machine that would continue to run endlessly. To me, this was not sustainable and I as the leader had to institutionalize this energy and growth. It was as though I wanted to leave a legacy behind. I wish I had a coach

Part – 4

I always believed that to build a strong organization we need people with a strong character. I spent a lot of time to ensure we did recruit the right people and persons who in many different ways were better than me. The process took me hours at times and sometimes it was in minutes. When you meet you simply know as it happened with Srini, Shankar Prasad, or with Elango.

I knew if I invested my time during the recruitment process you have to spend very little time later to get them aligned or motivated or to perform at their best, they in turn would take their teams to the next level. These leaders were self-motivated and I was able to draw energy from their being and their thought leadership. Their presence energized me and their teams.

Sometimes you make mistakes and one recruitment may not fit into the system that exists. That is when you begin to see different energy cycles and different energy fields. They begin to pull in different directions. You begin to wonder where did it start, and what would be the motivations for these pulls and pushes to be a reality. You wonder how come, people whom you trusted so much, people who were aligned to company goals and people who are intelligent and caring ….What Happened? I wish I had a coach

Part 5

In my first 23years, I have not achieved any of the goals that I wanted which were significant for me. Life changed after that and I began to understand myself better and how I could go about managing my strengths move from Inertia and practice what helped me develop some powerful habits. Yes, I did read many different books and confided in people who eventually became my gurus. My two-year MBA program gave me insights and I began to challenge myself.

I read many books, including the seven habits, the eight habits, books on Presence, Meditation, etc. Got exposed to EQ and its different competencies, Workshops on how to motivate teams and manage companies, Leadership at the Peak, and many such events. I did learn from each book and every workshop and development intervention that I undertook. It was always very refreshing and energizing as I was Learning. Later I learned from David Rock’s SCARF model that learning helps raise one’s Status and I was enjoying it. I did try to put into practice all that I learned and was eager to test the hypothesis.

Some of it stayed with me and most of it was lost in my journey forward. I often thought it is true for most interventions and took it as a way of life. Often I wondered if in life is there something close to a value dear to me. “Keep It simple”. In the past, we had a calculator, a telephone a calendar, a typewriter, a notebook/pad, a dictionary, etc., and today it is all in one Operating system. There are different OS you could choose from and it made Life simple. (at least we think so). Is there an OS that is simple and can be used in many different and almost all situations in Life? I wish I had a Coach

Part 6

I have been an integral part of the Industry for close to thirty years. I have enjoyed every moment during those thirty years. It was not always up or always down. I rode the waves and surfed and every wave gave me a high. The waiting for the next wave anticipating the moves and preparing myself for the next high was a joyful part of the journey.

Sometimes I did look for the next wave outside the environment that I was comfortable in. It was a way to disrupt myself, as well as challenge myself to see if I was up to it. Was I ready to build new teams, was I ready to integrate into new organizations, was I ready to start my journey all over again in a new environment? While the grey zones gave me a high they also gave me sleepless nights. I was always anxious and apprehensive if things would work out as I visualized. I changed my job on four occasions, and every single time it was the same. The same anxiety, the same fears, the same what if…..? I wish I had a coach.